How To Use This Toolkit
Support Professionals
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Welcome!
Thank you for seeking information to help you be a better resource for the people you support about sexual and reproductive health.
Sexuality is a part of the lives of people with intellectual and developmental disabilities. People with disabilities are often left out of sexuality education.
As a support professional you have an important role to play in making sure young people with disabilities get the sexuality information they need. If you’re an educator or medical provider, see the “Spotlight” sections below for more tips.
Talking about sexuality topics can be affirming, and sometimes talking about sexuality can also be uncomfortable. Don’t let this discomfort stop you from having these important conversations and providing critical and affirming sexuality information.
Talking about this topic and offering your support is invaluable. This toolkit provides an opportunity for you to learn side by side with the person you support. It was created with input from people with intellectual and developmental disabilities, parents and caregivers, and professionals in the disability and sexuality education fields.
This toolkit was created with young people ages 16-24 in mind, but we think many people will find the information and tools in this toolkit helpful! There is no right or wrong way to use the tool. This page will offer some tips to help get you started.
Why use this toolkit?
Sexuality is a natural part of everyone’s growth and development, including people with disabilities. Too often, people with disabilities do not receive formal sexuality education and are left without information they need to fully explore their sexuality and to stay healthy and safe. They have the right to information to help them navigate their sexuality, and you can help.
This toolkit provides factual information to support learning about bodies, sexual health and sexuality. It can also help give you a place to start conversations about sexuality and sexual health. In it, you will find sexual health words, images, stories from people with disabilities who have navigated social sexual situations, conversation starters, and resources for more learning.
You can use all of these tools to help start and normalize conversations about sexuality. The tools may answer questions that you and the person you support have about sexual health and sexuality. This toolkit won’t give you all the answers, but it is an excellent place to start. You can use the resources section to continue your learning to be the best support possible for the people you support around sexuality topics.
Communication Tips
Before you talk:
- Do some research. Review this toolkit before you start a conversation. You are not expected to know everything. Don’t be afraid to ask questions or look up information you don’t know.
- Be prepared to have age appropriate conversations in ways the person you support can understand and relate to. People with disabilities need the same information their peers are getting, in a way they can understand.
- Don’t assume the person you support isn’t interested in dating or relationships just because they have a disability. Make sure young people with disabilities get information about dating, relationships, and safer sex.
Be aware of the messages they may already be receiving from others, including media and social media.
- Check in with yourself. Be aware of your values around sexuality topics. Notice what topics are more difficult for you to discuss or which you have strong values around. Be careful not to inadvertently influence this process by sharing your own values, views, and morals. Be mindful of verbal or nonverbal communication that may come across as judgment, which can close the door to conversations.
- We developed this toolkit based on our values. Take a look at our Guiding Principles and take time to reflect on your own. Support professionals should focus on supporting the values of the person they support, not sharing their own.
- Plan ahead. Think about the best time to start a conversation when you have enough time. Schedule time with the person you support, so that they will have enough time. Take into account what they may have scheduled before or after you meet with them.
- Discuss with a person’s support networks. Check in with the other people who provide support to get on the same page about these topics. This might include caregivers, relatives, siblings, other direct support professionals and personal care attendants. Remember that it is important to have the approval of the person you are supporting to discuss what they may see as personal, sensitive information with a member of their circle of support.
- Be trauma informed. Past trauma may be triggered during sexuality conversations. Be prepared, and before sexuality conversations, check in with the person you support to identify who they can speak with if they need to stop.
Get Talking
- Start with what the person you support is interested in. Ask them what they already know and what they want to learn more about. Share some topics that might be important for them to learn about that might be new to them to gauge existing knowledge.
At the end of this page are some general conversation starters. And at the end of every glossary word and story are “Think About” reflection cards that you can also use to start a conversation.
- Use concrete and accurate words. Try to avoid slang to help the young person get accurate information and be able to communicate about sexuality topics with others clearly. If the young person you support uses slang, ask questions to make sure you are clear on what they mean and pair the word or phrase with the accurate word. If they are made to feel ashamed of the slang words, they may shut down. Use educational strategies you’ve learned that work well for the person you support.
- Embrace everyday moments to start a conversation. Use a sexuality related current event or news story to start a conversation about a topic. You can start with any sexuality topic!
Use the toolkit to start a conversation. Show the young person a glossary word or story and ask what they think.
- Show you are listening. Paraphrase what you hear and use words (e.g. “I hear you” or “okay”) and nonverbal cues (e.g. head nods) to show you’re paying attention.
- Check for understanding. Throughout the conversation check for understanding and be aware of verbal and nonverbal communication. Use open ended questions, or questions that require more than a “yes/no”. For example, ask “ So just to review, can you tell me what you understand from what we just talked about?” or “How would you describe what we talked about to someone else?” Include questions that require the young person to apply information to possible scenarios.
- Before you start a conversation, let the person know you will be checking in along the way to review what is discussed and see if they have questions.
- Before you start a conversation, let the person know you will be checking in along the way to review what is discussed and see if they have questions.
- Emphasize safety and do talk about pleasure, too. It’s critical to emphasize safety messages. And don’t forget to talk about positive aspects of sexuality as well.
- Correct misinformation or myths. Pay attention to misinformation or gaps in knowledge that need immediate attention because they put the person at high risk (Ex: prevention of disease transmission, behaviors that may be illegal or put someone at risk, such as having naked pictures of themselves or others who are under 18, etc.)
- Ask for help. In coordination with the person you support, connect with their circle of support (doctor, support staff, therapist) if you’re not able to provide the information they need for any reason. Make sure to let them know who you will be talking to and be clear on what they would like you to keep private.
- Go at their pace and be empathetic. Because young people with disabilities are so often excluded from these conversations, they might feel a range of emotions during these conversations such as eagerness, interest, anxiety, fear or even surprise. Take your time. Encourage questions.
- Continue to be trauma informed: During conversations, allow the young person time to react safely. Have the contact information of their circle of support readily available if needed i.e. therapist, pediatrician, parent-if directed by the person you support.
And keep talking…
- Check back in. Check in after a conversation for understanding and to find out how the conversation made the young person feel. This might spark new conversations, and helps conversations about sexuality and social sexual issues be ongoing.
- Provide resources. Share books, podcasts, websites and other resources like video links the person you support might enjoy learning from. Use the “Resources” section to help.
General tips for sexuality conversations
- Stay calm and keep an open mind. You will likely learn more about the person you support and yourself during this process!
- Be honest. Share accurate and age-appropriate information.
- If you don’t know the answer to a question, let them know you will get the information or offer to look it up together.
- Don’t allow concerns about comprehension prevent you from sharing this important information. Young people with disabilities are left at a disadvantage and a higher risk of being victimized when accurate and age-appropriate information is not provided. Find ways to share the information young people need in a way they can understand.
- If you don’t know the answer to a question, let them know you will get the information or offer to look it up together.
- Set boundaries: Do not share personal information about your own sexual experiences, values or opinions. These conversations are for the person you support; keep it focused on them.
- Have fun and explore. It’s okay to laugh and have fun with this topic!
When discussing health messages, use the anatomy images and plain language definitions to support the conversations. Don’t forget to check for understanding using open ended questions.
If you teach individuals or groups you can use this toolkit as well!
- Share the website and invite the young people to do independent research.
- Pick 1-3 glossary terms and prepare a lesson using the information and images provided.
- Review a “Real Story” together and discuss using open ended questions.
- Start one on one or small group conversations using some of the “Think About” questions.
- Ask students to review some of the resources on the “Resources” page and discuss what is relevant to them and why.
General Conversation Starters
Here are some ideas to get you started talking about sexuality with young people with intellectual and developmental disabilities that you support. Pay close attention to their answers and follow up with resources that are relevant to them.
What have you already learned about sexuality?
Who do you feel most comfortable talking about bodies, relationships and sexual health with?
What are you interested in learning about related to sexuality or social sexual situations?
What do you think makes a good relationship?