Boundaries
Hear this word Boundaries
Image description: Icons with several examples of boundaries and a person holds two signs with hand signals to communicate yes/okay or no/stop
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What Is It?
A clear line of what a person is okay with and not okay with. A person can have boundaries for personal space, touch, things to talk about, physical contact, and sexual activity. Everyone has different boundaries. It’s important that people respect your boundaries and that you respect other people’s boundaries.
An Example
Shauna is 20 years old and once shared nude photos with an ex-boyfriend who showed other people. Shauna was very unhappy and uncomfortable about what happened with her photos. Shauna tells her new boyfriend that she will not send him nude photos. This is a boundary for her. It is something she does not want to do, and so she will not do it. Her boyfriend understands her boundaries and does not ask for nude photos.
What to Know
Every glossary word connects to different parts of the Sexuality Wheel. Explore the information below to learn more.
- In healthy relationships, you should not feel ashamed of having or sharing your boundaries. A healthy, good partner respects these boundaries.
- People can communicate boundaries by filling in the following sentences:
- “I am okay with ______.” “I will do _____.”
- “I am not okay with ____.”“I do not want to do ___.”“I will not do ___.”
- For example:
- “I will not have sexual intercourse of any kind without using a condom.”
- “I am okay with having sexual intercourse today if we use a condom.”
- If someone disrespects or ignores your boundaries: Say, “Please stop what you are doing. I don’t feel comfortable. I don’t feel safe.”
- Someone can also use non-verbal communication such as writing or using pictures to share boundaries. Communication cards are an example. Someone can have a card with a thumbs up or a checkmark, which means yes. Someone can have another card with a thumbs down or an x, which means no or stop.
Think about
Hover or tap the cards below to reveal suggestions or ideas!
What are some of your boundaries?
Everyone has different boundaries. Some people are okay with certain things, and other people are not okay with those things. This is okay and natural!
Learn about other people’s boundaries and share your boundaries with other people. When people communicate boundaries with each other, then they can respect each other.
What are examples of boundaries that a person could communicate?
- I will not have unprotected sex.
- I will not be in an open relationship in which my partner sleeps with other people.
- I will stop dating someone that cheats on me.
What situations make you feel unsafe or uncomfortable?
Keep this information in mind so that you can avoid, get help, or remove yourself from these types of situations.
What might you say or do if someone disrespects or ignores your boundaries?
- If you can’t respect my boundaries, then we can’t stay together.
- If you don't respect my boundaries, then you don’t respect me.
